examine

EXAM'INE, v.t. egzam'in. [L. examino, from examen.]

1. To inspect carefully, with a view to discover truth or the real state of a thing; as, to examine a ship to know whether she is sea-worthy, or a house to know whether repairs are wanted.

2. To search or inquire into facts and circumstances by interrogating; as, to examine a witness.

3. To look into the state of a subject; to view in all its aspects; to weigh arguments and compare facts, with a view to form a correct opinion or judgment. Let us examine this proposition; let us examine this subject in all its relations and bearing; let us examine into the state of this question.

4. To inquire into the improvements or qualifications of students, by interrogatories, proposing problems, or by hearing their recitals; as, to examine the classes in college; to examine the candidates for a degree, or for a license to preach or to practice in a profession.

5. To try or assay by experiments; as, to examine minerals.

6. To try by a rule or law.

Examine yourselves whether ye are in the faith. 2 Cor.13.

7. In general, to search; to scrutinize; to explore, with a view to discover truth; as, to examine ourselves; to examine the extent of human knowledge.

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Let's just let me get it out there from the first:  These e-words are HARD!   They have to be approached WAY differently than what I got used to with the C-words.  This is taking more discipline than I thought it would, and a LOT more focus. 

That being said, they're way impressive, too.  To do this right, I've got to actually dig way deep down to do these.  Especially today's word.  Examine. 

Though our anniversary was last week, my husband and I celebrated today.  We went out to lunch, went window shopping, talked about our lives quite a bit.  We started talking about when we were newlyweds 21 years ago and our hopes and dreams back then.  Then we examined where we'd come to 21 years later.  Whoa.  Beyond an eye-opener.  Wow, have we changed.  Or, more accurately, our ideas and goals and energy levels have changed as parents and as a couple.  Perhaps even some of our priorities. 

Plus, I examined myself over the last couple of days.  What are MY goals?  MY hopes and dreams?  Have they changed?  I concluded that they have not.  They are the same.  However, how I'm accomplishing those goals is certainly changing----dramatically.  I am softer, kinder, gentler.  I am approaching life with more allowance of peoples' hangups and my own, as well.  I am learning, ever learning ways to improve my life, to bring me some inner peace and true fearlessness in the face of uncertainty.  I can't say I've succeeded completely with all of those, but upon further examination, I'll probably find I've made significant progress.  I hope, in my intense examination of my character, that I am learning more of how to love; how to love myself, others and all of creation.  That is my hope, and my efforts are certainly going into that. 

Examine is a good word.  A necessary word.  It shows me where I am, how far I've got to go, and what effort it's going to take to get there.  It's a great place to start, and a good thing to do throughout the journey. 

Yep.  A good word. 

Eliminate Follow-up

Okay, this was an interesting day with this word.  It's one thing to think to eliminate something, it's another to actually DO it. 

Pride.  I want to eliminate pride.  Why, oh, why is pride so tenacious?  It hangs on with claws that dig in and the harder you try to throw it off, the tighter it clings.  Ew.  Sigh.  However, the interesting thing about pride is that it has a way of arrogantly throwing you out there for life to humble you.  At least that seems to be the case with me.

Actually, I am improving in this endeavor to eliminate pride.  I have been working on obtaining Christlike attributes for a couple of years now.  This has been a very earnest endeavor for me, as I desire to be worthy of great blessings from Heaven.  I want to be worthy to perform miracles, to heal, to effect change in the hearts of those around me.  I desire to be clean and pure---good to the core.  Pride has GOT to go. 

I almost got into an argument with my 14-yr-old son today.  Almost.  That is HUGE progress.  He was hankerin' for a knock down drag-out fight and I almost got snared.  But I saw it for what it was and was able to eliminate my need to be right and walk away.  That made him even more angry, as he tried to reel me in again.  The insults started in as he followed me around. 

I am not telling any of this so that you'll think badly of my son.  He really doesn't understand fully what he's doing.  I'm telling this so that I can describe MY behavior, MY reaction, MY decision in engaging or not engaging.  I swallowed my pride and walked.  Usually, I go off to a corner and mutter and complain for a couple of hours, but today that pride didn't even get 60 seconds out of me.  I eliminated it..  Completely.  However, though the battle may have been won, the war still rages; meaning, I will have more opportunities to swallow pride.  I'm sure something will bring it out in me day to day.  Well, I can choose to be bummed out over that, or choose to look forward to another battle to actually WIN, as I won today. So.....Yay!  I get to do this again tomorrow!  Yippee!

I also had opportunity to get into an argument with Jim.  I didn't.  We disagreed on a point of child-rearing.  Ouch.  No fighting this time.  He was ready to.  I kept my voice gentle, stayed in a place of love and grace. 
I win again!  Wow.  Two successes in one day! 

Now, if I can just keep my pride from making me cocky, that would be great.  Aauuugh!  Too late.  Sigh.  I guess I start eliminating again tomorrow.  Drat!

Happily, two successes are better than none.  This is progress!  Happy day!

eliminate

ELIM'INATE, v.t. [L. elimino; e or ex and limen, threshhold.]

1. To thrust out of doors.

2. To expel; to thrust out; to discharge, or throw off; to set at liberty.

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Wow.  This is a strong word.  I have been thinking about it all day.  I have not acted on it yet.  I will continue this blog entry in a follow-up tomorrow.  I was serious when I said I should invent a planner, as I think it would be prudent to think on a word before it is employed, or acted upon, then write how it was acted upon in the planner.  These e-words take forethought in a BIG way.  I would not have guessed.

I am partaking of the Sacrament tomorrow morning.  I've been thinking about sins and weaknesses, transgressions out of sheer ignorance.  I have the opportunity to offer upon an altar of the Lord a broken heart and contrite spirit, to offer Him a sin or weakness that I would not otherwise acknowledge.  Knowing that He would  gladly take it helps in my motivation, as long as I'm sincere in giving it. 

Knowing I can't take this lightly, which weakness or sin will I offer?  I have to be completely committed to it for Him to accept it.  What would I "eliminate"?

Do I have anything that I would "thrust out", "discharge", "set at liberty"?  My pride, certainly.  Yes, I think that's what I will commune with God about tomorrow and the coming days/weeks.  This might take some time to "throw off", but I'm certain He'll accept this offering line upon line and precept upon precept as I learn to "eliminate' it.  Maybe the scriptural language with this would be "cast off" pride.  "Eliminate"  is a good, cleansing word.  I will apply it spiritually first, then see how I can act on it during the day tomorrow.  I'll update tomorrow evening.

effect

EFFECT', n. [L. effectus, from efficio; ex and facio, to make.]

1. That which is produced by an agent or cause; as the effect of luxury; the effect of intemperance.

Poverty, disease and disgrace are the natural effects of dissipation.

2. Consequence; event.

To say that a composition is imperfect,is in effect to say the author is a man.

3. Purpose; general intent.

They spoke to her to that effect. 2 Chron.34.

4. Consequence intended; utility; profit; advantage.

Christ is become of no effect to you. Gal.5.

5. Force; validity. The obligation is void and of no effect.

6. Completion; perfection.

Not so worthily to be brought to heroical effect by fortune or necessity.

7. Reality; not mere appearance; fact.

No other in effect than what it seems.

8. In the plural, effects are goods; movables; personal estate. The people escaped from the town with their effects.EFFECT', v.t. [from the Noun.] To produce, as a cause or agent; to cause to be. The revolution in France effected a great change of property.

1. To bring to pass; to achieve; to accomplish; as, to effect an object or purpose.

 Well, I am back.  I went 5 days without the internet and found that very frustrating.  I couldn't blog or research or create or anything.  Wow, how my life has become dependent on the computer!  It's good that I had my phone.  Otherwise, I'd have had no contact with the outside world whatsoever.  Phew!  

Something I've noticed about the E-words is that I can't do them at the end of the day.  I have to be prepared bright and early every morning with the word, the definition, etc.  These are VERBS.  That gives a clear indication that they have to be acted upon, and I can't act on the e-words without intent.  So I have to evaluate them and use them with INTENT.  I need a planner for this.  I think I'll invent one. 

My word yesterday was "effect".  I LOVED this word!  I had to ask myself all day, "Self, what effect will this have?"  and "Self, will this have the desired effect?"  "Self, you have the power to effect a change."  By the end of the day, I could sit and reflect on whether I effected people, places and things.  What effect does my presence have in the home?  What effect do I WANT it to have in the home?  With my children?  My spouse?  The house itself?  Did I effect?

When I go into a situation, do I leave it in a different state than when I arrived?  Is it positive?  Or do I effect negatively?  Whoa.  These e-words are WAY different from the c-words.

I actually had to use this word with a specific purpose.  And I made the goal to be nice while doing it.  Not an easy task.  I made a list of the people I wanted to effect.  Then I made a list of how I could effect them. Then I went through and listed the things I want to effect for myself.  It only took a few minutes, but it certainly gave me focus for the day.  With the e-words, it is much more necessary to truly focus and pinpoint the reason I want what I want and how I'm gonna get it.  I could actually FEEL the focal point of it in my mind.  Quite extraordinary.

When all was said and done, I effected change on everyone around me.  And they, too, effected change within me.  I effected a change for a missionary by sending him a letter in response to a question he posed to me.  I effected a change in my household, in that I cleaned it. (I was gone for 1 1/2 weeks, leaving the care of the household to my husband.  Need I say more?)  I did things with purpose yesterday.  It was wonderful.  I hope I effected positive change in others.  I know this effected positive change in me. 

Effect.  Powerful word. 

Exist, Employ

exist

EXIST', v.i. egzist'. [L. existo; ex and sisto, or more directly from Gr. to set, place or fix; L. sto, to stand. The primary sense is to set, fix or be fixed, whence the sense of permanence, continuance.]

1. To be; to have an essence or real being; applicable to matter or body, and to spiritual substances. A supreme being and first cause of all other beings must have existed from eternity, for no being can have created himself.

2. To live; to have life or animation. Men cannot exist in water, nor fishes on land.

3. To remain; to endure; to continue in being. How long shall national enmities exist?

This was my e-word yesterday.  Exist.  It wasn't as easy of a word as I thought it would be.  The C-words revealed things in me; strengths and weaknesses, good and bad.  But that's all they did.  They just showed me my true character, instilled in me a desire to be better.   

Okay, the difference I'm seeing between the C-words and the E-words are quite startling.  With the C-words I could just explore and feel them.  With the E-words, I actually have to initiate DOING something.  C-words were adjectives, describing things; but the E-words are verbs and actually require movement, effort.  Effort (another e-word, by the way) makes me tired.  Sigh.

That being said, I found it hard to just "exist" yesterday.  I made a concerted effort to simply void myself of reaction and just "be".  It was weird, but I learned a lot.  I actually almost pulled it off.  Simply existing was hard work.  I had to be able to engage with people without actually drawing attention to myself, I decided.  What this revealed to me was that, IF I'm going to engage with someone, I like to be the center of attention, to offer to them what I feel valuable in myself that I believe could do both them and myself good.  I don't think this is selfish or egocentric.  This can be a good thing, depending on the motivation attached to it.  Ok, that was very difficult to do. If they engaged with me, I had to keep an emotional distance, or I would disconnect with the word "exist".  This is very difficult to explain. 

Another thing this revealed to me is that, to feel like I was simply existing, it was really easy to "go with the flow".  I made no major decisions, as that would put me into "reaction mode".  So it was VERY easy to just turn hither and thither and be pushed along with the current.  Though it took out any concern or worry for me, as I was jumping into the full experience of this word, it also alarmed me at how will-less I was while doing it.  My will had to be taken out of the equation (also an e-word) or I would lose my connection to the word.  It was so strange....and disconcerting.  

Huh.  I thought about being an intelligence before we were given a spirit tabernacle.  We "existed" then and could think, but it seems to me that that was about it.  As much as I don't like my physical body, as much as it causes me pain or discomfort, as much as it seems to think of its own accord and not counsel with me, I came to realize something.  This experience I had with the word "exist" showed me that a heavy, tedious body gives me FREEDOM.  Freedom to move and act, to take my existence into an understanding that I can change the things around me.  This body, however cumbersome, has given me mobility, movement, creative abilities.  It gives me freedom to put thought into deed, to make ideas realities.  Existence isn't enough for me.  I want to LIVE.  Living creates effect.  (Another e-word:)  What effect can I have?  Simply existing was confining and, well....boring.  I could observe, but do nothing about it without disconnecting from "exist".  It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever experienced.  

These words are quite remarkable.  Every day is different, and I never know where they're going to lead, what thoughts and feelings they're going to dig up.  How will the e-words "effect" my existence?  The next 29 days will be telling, indeed.  

employ

EMPLOY', v.t. [L. plico.]

1. To occupy the time, attention and labor of; to keep busy, or at work; to use. We employ our hands in labor; we employ our heads or faculties in study or thought; the attention is employed, when the mind is fixed or occupied upon an object; we employ time, when we devote it to an object. A portion of time should be daily employed in reading the scriptures, meditation and prayer; a great portion of life is employed to little profit or to very bad purposes.

2. To use as an instrument or means. We employ pens in writing, and arithmetic in keeping accounts. We employ medicines in curing diseases.

3. To use as materials in forming any thing. We employ timber, stones or bricks, in building; we employ wool, linen and cotton, in making cloth.

4. To engage in one's service; to use as an agent or substitute in transacting business; to commission and entrust with the management of one's affairs. The president employed an envoy to negotiate a treaty. Kings and States employ embassadors at foreign courts.

5. To occupy; to use; to apply or devote to an object; to pass in business; as, to employ time; to employ an hour, a day or a week; to employ one's life.

This one was a little easier for me today.  Again, e-words require DOING something.   I employed my car today to get me to church.  I employed my ears to hear testimonies given today.  I employed the kitchen, pots and pans, utensils, to make a meal for my children and friends.

I was looking forward to spending the day employing the Bible and my eyes to read it all day.  I LOVE studying the scriptures, looking for new discoveries, things I didn't know before.  And I got interrupted.  Doesn't anybody else do anything to keep the Sabbath day holy?  Is coming over to see me part of that endeavor?  All of the sudden, I had to play hostess.  I had to disengage from what I had made goals to employ, and be "on" for visitors.  Not just one visitor, but a whole bunch.  They flocked here, it seemed.  It was downright bizarre.  As I felt increasingly annoyed and frustrated, I had to "employ" patience and longsuffering, brotherly kindness and charity (such as I had.  I am quite deficit in many of those.)

So that was an eye-opener to me.  Sometimes I sit and try to BE patient, longsuffering, kind and loving.  Today I realized how dumb that is.  Waiting around for those traits through meditation and prayer and stuff is all noble and admirable.  But I think they must be "employed", relied on to effect a change.  I had to use them like tools.  Did that ever cause a SERIOUS  paradigm shift for me!  They're tools that, once employed enough, wielded enough, actually effect change in the employer.  Permanent change.  I am an employer.
I think I will try to employ those virtues more tomorrow and on and on.  I can devote more attention to them that way.  Does that make it easier, or what?!?

Huh.  Who knew?

Execute

EXECUTE

1. Literally, to follow out or through. Hence, to perform; to do; to effect; to carry into complete effect; to complete; to finish. We execute a purpose, a plan, design or scheme; we execute a work undertaken, that is, we pursue it to the end.

2. To perform; to inflict; as, to execute judgment or vengeance.

3. To carry into effect; as, to execute law or justice.

4. To carry into effect the law, or the judgment or sentence on a person; to inflict capital punishment on; to put to death; as, to execute a traitor.

5. To kill.

6. To complete, as a legal instrument; to perform what is required to give validity to a writing, as by signing and sealing; as, to execute a deed or lease.EX'ECUTE, v.i. To perform the proper office; to produce an effect.



Okay, this isn't one of the 30 E-words.  It's actually in the introduction to the e-words, but must be understood before I start.  So I looked it up and posted it.  EXECUTE.  I will choose, for the moment, to ignore #5's meaning.  All the others, except 1/2 of #4 are doable.  Maybe #2 isn't so hot, either.  All the rest, though, are acceptable.  Right?  So, I am looking at this word and committing it to memory, even if it's only my short-term memory. Hehe.  This is necessary to know in order to do the others.  So, technically, I guess there are at least 31 words in this section.  Sssshhhhhh.  Don't tell.  It would just sound weird to call this the 91-Day CEO.  

cultivated

CULTIVATED, pp. Tilled; improved in excellence or condition; corrected and enlarged; cherished; meliorated; civilized; produced by tillage.



This was the final word for my C's.  I'm actually emotional today thinking of it.  I thought it was a great word to end with for my first 30 days.

I want so many things.  I want to improve in excellence or condition.  I believe these words are helping me to do exactly that.  I am a different person today than when I started 30 days ago.  

I have grown up in farming communities and lived in a few of them as a wife and mother.  I prefer those communities over urban areas.  For years I have watched farmers till the ground, preparing to plant their crops, be it corn, wheat, barley, potatoes, sugar beets, alfalfa, mint, carrot seed, or a simple garden, etc.  I have seen a variety of crops grown throughout my life.  Interestingly, though the seeds planted were all different, the process for preparing the ground was pretty much the same.  The care taken, the exactness of which the rows were made and planted....the process is essentially the same for nearly every crop. 

The ground has to be prepared, or nothing but wild weeds will grow, if even that.

I feel that these words are preparing me to be something.  I am not a corn kernel, or a barley seed.  I don't know what I am yet.  Yes, I'm a human being.  I get that.  Like, duh.  But I've been looking around at other human beings, and I'm not sure I want to be like that.  I know that people can be kind.  I have met many kind people in my life.  I know that human beings can be smart.  I've met many of those, as well. But even smart people can be mean.  I am smart, and I have a mean streak in me that I'm trying so hard to overcome.  The C-words have helped me progress in that endeavor.

I want to be more than a human being.  I don't think being a human being is enough.  Not for me, anyway.  I want to be more than human.  I want to be divine. I don't often see the divine in human beings.


I feel that the C-words helped me prepare the ground so I can be planted and  developed now.  It certainly revealed the type of soil I'm made up of.  Part of "cultivated" means to till.  Ever watched someone plow or till?  It digs things up, brings things to the surface, bringing to the visible eye things that were hidden in the ground.  It is complete and total upheaval.  It is necessary, or the seeds planted will not grow. 

The C-words dug stuff up for me, and brought them into awareness, things that I was not aware of before.  This first 30 days showed me on a much deeper level my true character.  I learned that I am a pretty decent human being, but again, that's not enough for me.  I want more. 

What will my fruit be?  What kind of seed will I produce someday?  What will I truly be when I really grow up? 

This is quite the adventure, these words.  I never know what they'll reveal or produce in me.  They almost always surprise me; some good surprises, some disappointing surprises.  But they're doing their job. 

Who knew?  I have concluded one major thing with this program.  Words are perhaps the most powerful things on Earth.  Even more powerful than the people who use them.  Wow.